Mean Shakespeare Quotes

Category: Creative Insults

November 1

Scabs

What’s the matter, you dissentious rogues,
That, rubbing the poor itch of your opinion,
Make yourselves scabs?

–Coriolanus,
Act I, Scene i
October 29

Pickle

The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.

–Coriolanus
Act V, Scene iv
October 26

Whipped

Take but good note, and you shall see in him
The triple pillar of the world transform’d
Into a strumpet’s fool: behold and see.

–Antony and Cleopatra,
Act I, Scene i
October 22

Spoiled

Take her back again:
Give not this rotten orange to your friend…

—Much Ado About Nothing,
Act IV, Scene i
October 17

You’re a Pair of Monkeys

Or else you had looked through
the grate, like a geminy of baboons.

–Merry Wives of Windsor,
Act II, Scene ii
October 7

Inflammatory

Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle
in my corrupted blood… But I’ll not chide thee.

-King Lear,
Act II, Scene ii
October 5

Arch Observation

Your brows are blacker; yet black brows, they say,
Become some women best, so that there be not
Too much hair there, but in a semicircle
Or a half-moon made with a pen.

–Winter’s Tale,
Act II, Scene i